Waiting on my wiggle worm!: ★Then there was you ★

★4.6.10★

I decided that since I was 2 months late perhaps I should buy a test and check and see if I were preggo... and shockingly enough, I am!

All my sister Dawn could say was wow...wow...woooowwww.... LOL. Yes, it's a shock, but a good shock. Maybe this was a way of my mom helping me heal, since it hasn't even been a year since she's been gone. Who knows.

I've wanted to be a mom since I can remember, I've never had any doubt that I would make an amazing mother, even though I'm sure I will now doubt just about everything I do concerning motherhood. Ha. It's going to be a bumpy ride, but I'm down for the challenge.

"A grand adventure is about to begin!"
~Winnie the Pooh

★5.13.10★

The day started out kind of melancholy. I was going to my first doctor's appointment solo... what if something had happened to the baby or I wasn't really pregnant. What if I was having twins. Oh god, could I handle twins on my own? It would be easier if the dad actually wanted anything to do with the baby, but he chose not to and I chose to keep him or her. I cannot control what any one else in this world chooses to do. I can only make my own decisions and pray that they were the right ones to make. This is a choice I can live with.

I was glad to get the call from my sister Dawn, saying she was on her way to be with me. I almost cried when she came in the door, cause I was so happy to see her and so relieve that if something had gone wrong that I wouldn't be the only one in the room. Don't ask me why I was so worried about that, I guess it's cause I had this thought in the back of my head that I wasn't pregnant, that it was all a fluke.

We got into the waiting room, and I heard the nurse tell the Nurse Practitioner who was coming in to see me that I was unsure of the dates. Of course I was. I couldn't remember if things went regularly in February or not... If they hadn't, then there was a possibility that I was almost 18 weeks, not almost 14 weeks. That's a big difference.

The N.P. only had a Doppler, she proceeded to tell us that they would not be doing an ultrasound in the office, but they could send me one so that we can make sure we have the dates correct. She sprayed my tummy with that cold gel and went all over my lower stomach pausing for a few seconds here and there and I could hear the whush whush whush whush whush of my baby's fast little heartbeat. The baby was sooo active, the n.p. said that the baby was just fine, it had a strong heartbeat around 150 and everything seemed to be fine. They scheduled us to have an ultrasound at the MRI place in Palm Harbor and we went and grabbed some lunch. "Drink plenty of water!" the receptionist told me, I thought Oh, great...

By the time we got to the MRI office, I was doing the potty dance in the middle of their waiting room. Dawn's wisdom was not very helpful, "You're only making it worse, ya know." No, I didn't know. I can't help it. I couldn't imagine the tech pressing on my bladder. I'd die. Luckily the tech saw that I was right and was about to explode, so that helped a lot. She had the monitor turned towards her and Dawn, so Dawn got the first look at my wiggleworm :) The tech told me that the baby was measuring at 13 weeks 5 days, which puts my due date at 11.13.10. She was trying to show me the head when I told her I couldn't really see. "Oh, we can fix that," she said. She turned the monitor to face me and she showed me the baby's heart and I could see it pumping away. She held the ultrasound wand over one spot for a second, and all you could see was my future little soccer player. Thank God I can't feel all of those kicks yet!! Kick, Kick, Kick! That seems to be the baby's favorite thing to do :)

Here are my first glimpses of the lil worm :)